Last week as I was coming home from work, I passed a large off-white couch out by the curb in front of one of the houses in our neighborhood. My husband was sick that day, so I was hurrying home to bring him orange juice and wait on him hand and foot. I continued home – poured the hubby a glass of OJ and headed back towards the trash couch.
Trying to be discreet, I parked 50 yards or so from the couch and stealthily approached my
great find. The couch was cream micro-suede, but substantially dirty. It had no overwhelming smell (Sean later argued otherwise) and was approximately one half of a sectional. If you remember correctly, I’m not the biggest fan of our current lumpy green couch – but I’m also not the biggest fan of shelling out lots of money for a new couch. I was a fan of the trash couch.
It was perched on its back and was rather large. I pulled my Honda CRV up closer to the couch and opened the back door. I knew before I even tried that the trash couch wasn’t going to fit – but that certainly wasn’t going to stop me. In a burst of superhuman strength – I lifted up one side of the sectional and began dragging the trash couch towards my car. A dog immediately began barking from inside the house of the couch’s previous owners. I contemplated stopping – but the trash couch was just too good to pass up. I heaved the couch up into my car and began pushing. The couch’s previous owner appeared (who couldn’t speak much English) and began wildly gesturing and yelling “OK!…OK!” in an enthusiastic tone from his doorway. I smiled and waved beneath the strain of the massive couch. After finally wedging it in as far as it would go, a good third of the couch was still sticking out the back. I was past the point of no return, waved goodbye to the trash couch’s previous sitter, and proceeded to drive the 1/2 mile uphill to our house like this…
Enter horribly sick husband.
I spent the remainder of that evening scrubbing the couch with a variety of products…none of which were very helpful in making the trash couch look more presentable. Sean spent the remainder of the evening thoroughly entertained by my tendency to take on massive spontaneous projects and trying to
lie through his teeth encourage me that “Yes honey, it’s looking much better!”
I wish I had a great success story for you. I wish that we had a cream micro-suede 1/2 of a sectional in our family room right now instead of the lumpy green monster.
But this is not a rags to riches fairytale.
The trash couch ended up where it belonged on trash day…by our curb.